EAT YOUR FEARS - INTERNAL BATTLE NEOFIGHT.
We all start somewhere.
My first time playing RPGs was around 2010. I had my character metaphorically raped by a tree and thought, man, these games suck. Who wants to go thru that?
I was brought around when I moved in with my younger brother, who runs a blog over at Press the Beast. We played Basic Fantasy RPG, the Gonnerman joint, and it set my world ablaze with possibilities. Immediately, I wanted to run my own game but it seemed impossible for a guy like me. I was talking down to myself regularly at the time, real low self-esteem shit. To learn how to facilitate a game, I first learned how to play in one.
My first character was an outrageous sewer man, worse than the brigands we met on the road. Yup, I was a murder hobo. My tablemates were mortified, except Bateman, who I think got a kick out of it. Nowadays I would never do something so anti-social, because I think everyone should be comfortable and I am better at gauging what people are interested in and tailoring my characters and character expression to those tastes.
We converted the campaign to GURPS, played a shortlived FATE game, started another campaign in 5e before switching over to a B/X chassis. My first year and change in the hobby really got my feet wet.
I was comfortable playing pretty much whatever, but I still couldnt run. It seemed impossible because I had this amazing referee and I felt I couldnt achieve those lofty heights. What I failed to realize: I have strengths, too. So do you.
So how did I get into it? Man, this dumb-ass brother backed Mothership 1e on Kickstarter and forgot to cancel it even though he lost interest. I saw an opportunity: This could be my thing. It was a good place to start, for me, and that was for a few reasons.
- Solid referee guide got the ball rolling. I prepped an adventure, my first adventure, after reading thru the box set and got to playing within a day. Just a simple scenario, a bar fight, to try things out. Then I started doing a simple adventure every day for a little, just what I could fit in a pocket notebook. I did this for a bit until I felt confident.
- Simple, intuitive maths. I see a lot of people agonizing over which system to choose for their game... Phooey, I say! Pick what feels comfortable. If it fits you like a glove, wear it out.
- Gaps in the rules and contradictions had me make rulings and develop a relationship with the rules that was not beholden to RAW.
One of the reasons playing RPGs appealed to me was developing a sense of mastery. I enjoy becoming better at threat assessment and lateral thinking. Its very rewarding play and the stakes are below the floor, so you might as well get your hands dirty and try shit. In order to play well, you need only Lock In, Respect the Fiction and Take Risks.
In order to referee effectively requires more and is more rewarding as a result. The skill floor is a bit higher, though barely.
Here's what new referees need to understand
- You dont need to run a particularly good game for everyone to have fun.
- You have strengths that will only be discovered thru play. Refereeing doesnt happen in a vacuum and theoretical rulings are, essentially, useless.
- Perfection is the enemy of good enough. Avoid bikeshedding.
- Be confident in your aesthetic preferences and imagination. This is what I struggled with most, I think. You are revealing a part of yourself when you describe an Orc a certain way and what if someone disagrees? Fuck em. Tell them they can suck it from the back with a crazy straw and do Orcs their own way in their own game. Btw... No-one will disagree ;)
- Turn the fear into exhilaration. Harness it and let it energize you!
- One beer is OK, maybe two. I recommend against getting stoned, however.
- One-shots can be brilliant, but the campaign is where the magic happens. Ive only dabbled in loose campaign play thus far and Im fucking stoked to do it more meaningfully in Treasure Hunter Scroll Battle. I will make mistakes and shit won't be like when my brother does it and that's a feature, not a flaw. Why? Because it will be done the Gourd Dwarf way.
- No prep is all marketing buzz. Dont buy into it, youll be sorry. Learn to love the legwork: it doesnt have to take long and your games will be better for it.
Let me tell you a story
In 2018 or thereabouts I was on a paid comedy show. It was my first time doing comedy while visibly trans and my first time being paid and the first time I had a crowd of that size. I froze mid set, dropped the mic and ran off. Nothing really happened though... The worst part of it was the cold outside when I left the venue, truthfully. People were supportive and I was back in the saddle before long. There were people paying me and it wasnt a big deal. I learned a bit about steeling my nerves and came out better for it.
Recently, I was running Sag River Extreme Cold Research Facility, Alaska with some of my tightest gaming homies. I was on the penjamin all day and began running in a clouded state... no good. I panicked in the middle of the session and called it early. I felt real stupid, I felt no good. But, again, nothing bad happened. I still play with those cats, in their games and them in mine.
Shit happens, man. It's a game. And it's rewarding.
Parting Words
The best part of being new in something: You will never grow faster than this. Before that first plateau, it's all gains. Go get em.